Behind the mask of behaviour
Have you ever experienced showing up at school as a youngster, or work as an adult, and feeling like you had to hide – or shut down – what is alive in you in the now?
Did you ever want someone to just notice something wasn’t right for you?
Have you ever yearned for someone to stop and be still enough, that they would sit and listen to you – and actually not “rescue” you or fix what they perceived the problem to be?
Well, here lies a story that touched me deeply…
Taking a Year 10 English class around halfway through the school day, a teenage girl sat up the front of the class on her own, with a forlorn face. Her peers were further back in the classroom. Upon the class requirements being presented, the students at the back proceeded to undertake the tasks.
Noticing this female student had not opened any of her books to make a start, this is what unfolded…
I simply said, “I noticed you have not opened your books yet.”
Her response of “I am not doing any work”, clearly indicated something was more alive in her than school.
Accepting where she was at, I sat the Bear Cards on her table and invited her to select any cards she was feeling right now .. then walked away.
Noticing she had finished with the Bear Cards, I returned to ask how she felt about me sitting beside her.
She then proceeded to share her “good reasons” for picking out the 3 cards she did. Each card represented something deeply significant for her.
Turned out, her favourite uncle had died the night before.
Her acknowledgement of what was alive for her, her willingness to share with me, led us into a discussion about why he was the favourite uncle, what death meant for her and what she was missing about her uncle.
For the rest of that English class, this student wrote a tribute to her favourite uncle and walked out of that English class with a smile.
We can all make a difference … through meeting people where they are at!
Dropping the agenda and becoming present!
Author: Margie Matheson
