Tag Archive for: authentic connection

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SILENCE

Recently, I sat in the hurt and sadness, and actually, despair, of a long time silence.

A wise and courageous man gave some possibilities of how silence may come about for a man.

In his willingness to answer my question …

“Any tips on what may be going on for a man when he does not respond?”

… and this is what he provided:

  • overwhelmed by the issue raised
  • fear or concern of how his response will be received
  • holding in anger
  • really not wanting to face the questions
  • wanting the person talking to just go away
  • embarrassed
  • simply lost for words
  • shame

I felt compelled to add:

  • control
  • guilt

The spiritual element of being human promotes SILENCE as a magical component of peace and coming closer to awareness.

I have certainly experienced this joy… and continue to do so in my morning practise.

So, how can it be that there is a flip side to this human experience that can cut so deeply?

Given there is hurt, I still have work to do on myself. That’s all there is!!

Oh, is the painful silence reflective of my own silence around what is important to me? And the manner I have been going about trying to “get” my former husband to talk, leads me to giving up full of sadness, frustration and despair!!

Writing this, I hear push.

Force.

What if: I was to share the FEELINGS running through me and what NEEDS would be met through him providing communication?

And for me to remember, behind EVERYTHING people do or say, there is a GOOD REASON.

An opportunity for me to practise a new language that brings connection.

https://backintracktion.com.au/

 

Listening with curiosity, one key to all communication.

How easy it has been for me to judge other’s behaviour. Noticing that this often brought disconnection with the other, and an uncomfortable feeling running through me. Being on a journey of unpacking what judging others has given me, I explored what could happen if I trusted rather than controlled.

Last week in a PE class with Prep students, I had the honour of being part of “Listening with Curiosity”. No judgement, meant no right or wrong, just a level of understanding from all involved, and an outcome that we all enjoyed.

Teaching the junior students is often filled with many littlies calling my name for so many different reasons. This day, I noticed a feeling of frustration building, created by the many interruptions taking me away from being present while a student was learning to ride a bike.

Upon my name being called again … I turned and asked this little girl, “Is it important?”

She replied with a “Yes, this boy (who shall remain nameless) kissed me”.

I noticed the worry in her eyes.

Asking the rest of the class to help us out by packing up all the sports equipment, gave this boy and girl the space to face each other and a “Listen with Curiosity” moment was created. From that, connection and understanding.

Girl: “What is your good reason for kissing me?”

Boy: “I really like playing with you.”

Girl (whose eyes lit up): “Oh … well I really like playing with you too.”

Silence for a moment – taking in this awareness.

Boy: “How did you feel when I kissed you?”

Girl: “I felt scared. You have germs and you kissed me, and now I have germs and now I am not going to see my friends again, because I am going to die because I have covid.”

By this time, the girl is on the edge of tears.

The 3 of us sat in stillness taking in her fear.

After a moment my intuition guided me, acknowledging her fear, I asked: “Do you kiss your mum or dad?”

Girl: “Yes, of course I do. But they don’t have covid.”

I responded to this with: “How do you know?”

The girl’s eyes seemed to sit in contemplation. Something shifted in her awareness and perception of the situation we all found ourselves in.

Girl speaking to the boy: “Next time you want to kiss me, could you ask me first. Now let’s go help pack up.”

My heart sang pure joy …. because in that moment I was filled with immense gratitude for the art of “Listening with Curiosity.” A vital part of clear communication. A key to connection.